get up; kill and eat

china house @ the mandarin oriental

in the biblical account of the acts of the apostles...

peter went up on the roof to pray. he became hungry and wanted something to eat, and while the meal was being prepared, he fell into a trance. he saw heaven opened and something like a large sheet being let down to earth by its four corners. it contained all kinds of four-footed animals, as well as reptiles of the earth and birds of the air.
then a voice told him, "get up, peter. kill and eat."

i'm pretty sure that sheet was filled with chinese dim sum.

for my birthday, a good friend treated me to china house's sunday brunch (~1000B/p), which has become my favorite dining experience at the mandarin oriental. forget the usual loud, stock-trading ambience flagging down greasy-smocked ladies pushing stacks of little delights (dim sum literally translates to "touch the heart") and actually enjoy the mod sophistication of shameless red and black contemporary chinese design in private nooks.
starters were beautifully spread in the center atrium, including all the traditional chinese banquet accoutrements (drunken chicken, shark fin soup, cold jellyfish, roast suckling pig, peking duck, etc.) which are continually available. dim sum plates are ordered from their menu, which were introduced to us as "eat what you can." their shanghai and shrimp dumplings were fantastic, as were braised pork belly in XO sauce, wasabi crispy shrimp, salt & pepper fried squid, impossibly soft steamed snow fish, wok-seared (sounds better than stir-fried, huh?) black pepper beef and so much more.

top off what little space you have left with fruits, traditional or fusion desserts and then sit on your (now) plump, pork buns and try to have conversation about something other than how good the food is.

i have to especially acclaim their service. the staff were incredibly adroit and mirthful and i've never felt so comfortably served. also, this place is family-friendly - there's a magician that comes around at 12 to visit the kiddies.

china house @ the mandarin oriental hotel
hours: sunday brunch 11:30-2:30, dinner daily 7-10:30
for reservations, phone 02-669 9000 x7650-1 or email mobkk-restaurants@mohg.com
webby: http://www.mandarinoriental.com/bangkok/dining/restaurants/china_house/

your perfect greasy picnic

roti mataba

it's perhaps for everyone's benefit that they don't post roti nutrition facts. i'm willing to bet you could lubricate an entire freight train with the amount of grease roti mataba goes through in a week.step into this infernal, southern-fried kitchen, grab a couple rotis for about 40B each (get the chicken one and one with curry), a wadful of napkins and head across the street to the phra sumen fort & park. picnic on the rim of the chao phraya river overlooking the gorgeous rama VIII bridge and people-watch. this is probably the most relaxing, urban activity you'll find in bangkok. roti mataba, 136 phra athit road, banglumpoo.
phone: 0 2282 2119

we are 1 billion strong, aren't we?

tong lai shun chinese restaurant

i like being chinese. i like that i am part of an ethnicity that is 1 billion strong. i also like that we chinese are everywhere. is there a country that doesn't have a chinese person? is there a place in this world that doesn't have a chinese restaurant? which i find very favorable, since i likes me some chinese food.

which strikes me as a little weird here that in bangkok, a city that has a TON of chinese people, chinese food is kinda hard to find (at least the kind i'm used to - cantonese, szechuan, shanghai, taiwanese, hunan). my tastebuds yearn for good old fashioned HK dim sum that's not in an overpriced hotel, xiaolong pao filled with meaty broth, hand-pulled noodles that attain that elusive Q-ness, and the calming, rounded signature flavor palette. oh god, i think i'm going to faint.tong lai shun tied me over. this is like chinese "soul food." steamed fish (450B) was just right - the fish light and tender in savoury sauce. eggplant (100B) in "seafood sauce" (originally made because fish was expensive or unavailable, eggplant was prepared in the seasonings used for seafood) was delicious, if not on the oily side. xiaolong pao (100B) were small little delights - eat them *cautiously* fast or the sultry broth congeals upon cooling. the soul-foodiest of them all, mapo tofu (120B), gets a solid manchurian stamp of approval with its thick, spicy sauce with sour pickled cabbage. the standard deep fried green beans (100B) with garlic were on the greasy, limp side, but passable.

and to their credit, they make the rare, beloved sweet potato dessert (150B). sweet potatoes are battered and deep-fried, then covered in a burning hot caramel and served with a bowl of ice water. as fast as humanly possible, fork sweet potato, dunk it into the ice water to harden the caramel and eat it without burning the dickens out of your tongue. it's nirvana. we chinese are a bit "zen" with our cuisine. chinese (cantonese) use the term "wok-kae" referring to the energy of the fire and wok that is in the food. it is meant to be consumed immediately. you wait, you miss the magic. confucius say: eat yo' food hot and fast, sucka.

tong lai chun, sukh 41, alley behind the miracle mall.
10am-10pm (i think)
02-259-0765

joe louis was a puppeteer?

joe louis theater puppet show

the famous puppeteer, sakorn yangkhieosot, had a nickname that was eventually mispronounced "lui" and then was subsequently re-nicknamed "joe louis." (of if you're my friend from pomona, ca. who knows 800 people named "jose luis," has unintentionally re-nicknamed him again.) so, sorry all you boxing fans; thai puppetry is perhaps the furthest thing from man-pummeling.

for anyone with the means, i grab you by the shoulders and implore you to visit the joe louis theater. thai puppetry is so uniquely thai and performed so fluidly; it is thoroughly enjoyable. it is an impressive feat of choreography as each thai puppet requires 3 people to operate it. and not only that, each operator also mimicks the motions and stance of the puppet, so all three puppeteers and puppet act as one synchronized performer. traditional thai musicians and narrators accompany in characteristic half-chant-half-song. the show is entirely in thai with barebones english captions to communicate what is happening in each scene, yet is completely understandable by the adept performance. it's amazing what emotions puppets are able to express (ever see "being john malkovich"?).
currently, they're showing "the birth of ganesh," portraying ganesh's origin - a "large child" created from the sweat (yes, sweat!) of a high god's reincarnated courtesan after war broke out in heaven. he got the elephant head because his father didn't realize he was his son and decapitated him in war. then he resurrected him and found a replacement head by asking his servant to go in a northerly direction and cut off the head of the first creature that was facing a westerly direction. but you knew that already, didn't you?thai puppeteers regard puppets with great respect, referring them to as "him" or "her" rather than "it" and making an offering of respect to the artist's forefathers at the start of each show. afterwards, the actors also invite any interested audience members to pay their respects or make merit to ganesha.

joe louis theater, suan lum night bazaar
"birth of ganesha" shows nightly 8-9:15p, documentary at 7:30 (thai only)
900B/foreign adult, 400B/thai adult, 450B/foreign adult with thai work permit, 300B/child or students with id.
webby: www.thaipuppet.com

a better roast

kuppa

in this coffee-saturated city, kuppa is the only place i've found that roasts their own coffee beans imported from across the globe. impressed and delighted as i was, i didn't buy any because it's REALLY expensive (it's on par with san francisco or new york prices). that pretty much sums up my kuppa experience: impressed, delighted, price-shocked.

kuppa's ambiance is elegant, open and assuredly casual - oooh. their pastry case houses horking, drool-inducing, showboat desserts - ahhh. they proudly display their curious coffee roasters and serve excellent coffee - oooh. culinary standards are executed with superb quality (eggs benedict, sorbets, pastas) - oooh. their confident, spot-on creativity makes you want to slap someone (duck, salmon) - ahhh. the bill...WHAAAA?

introduction: get a salad. they're really big (enough to feed several people) and fittingly dressed. 3 of us ordered the mixed salad (160B) and roasted vegetables (195B) which went nicely together.
body 1: i have a weakness for duck prepared in its own fat (doesn't that sound unkosher?). duck confit with watercress, orange sauce (495). i was skeptical of the orange sauce; now i'm a believer.
body 2: miso salmon (420), was one of 3 offerings of salmon. tasty. pesto shrimp pizza (295) was on the cheesier end of the spectrum. i probably wouldn't get it again.
body 3: eggs benedict. you gotta love a breakfast-all-day place, especially one that makes a mean eggs benedict. thank god for angioplasties.
conclusion: topped off with a happy, pistachio crepe (195) & fresh fruit with lychee sorbet (195) that makes your brain override your stomach's fullness.

for those with no need to be concerned with cost, kuppa is a sure-fire win. the food is undebatably delicious. the venue is charming and classy and relaxed. for those with a budget, start saving or start convincing yourself it's a kuppa sour grapes.

maybe i can find a rich boyfriend...

kuppa, 39 sukh 16. (bts: asoke)
10a-11:30p, closed every last monday of the month.
02-663 0495
closed every last monday of the month

buddha has size 400 feet.

wat pho

every tourist makes a requisite visit to the grand palace and the temple of the emerald buddha. there is nothing else in the world quite like it. wat pho is like the neglected step-child situated just next door. those with extra time make the stop here.

i love wat pho. it's more serene, it seems as if more thai people actually come to make merit, and it's unique. wat pho is known for its prestigious massage school (you can get a traditional thai massage by a student - though it's usually more expensive than other traditional thai massages) and i like the painted anatomy diagrams that i'm convinced influenced the illustration of the poor patient of the "operation" game.also, you can see a giant reclining buddha. why is he reclining? i'm not really sure. my dad made a lame joke about how a standing buddha couldn't fit in the temple. nyuk nyuk. seriously, this reclining buddha is gigantically impressive with his massive feet embedded by myriad reliefs made of mother-of-pearl. and if you're into making merit, you can exchange your big-bill bahts for a wadful of coin bahts to drop into the chain of alms bowls, clinking all the while.if you're looking for thai herbal products or remedies, the street lining the north wall of wat pho has a slurry of shops hawking traditional oils, teas, powders, elixirs (how many opportunities can you legitimately find to use that word), and and other homeopathic tools.

wat pho, maharat road. near the grand palace on the side of the river.
50 baht entrance for foreigners.

i've got a ticket to ride

passport bookstore

unfortunately, the english translation of the thai name of this shop doesn't adequately catch the play on words. the thai literally translates to "travel book store," which for some reason still doesn't sound as cool as the thai. passport is an adorable, narrow, little shop with its walls stacked to the ceiling with books. they even have those enchanting ladders that slide along the walls to enable you reach those high altitude books. most of passport's stocks (new and used) are thai, but they carry a notable number of interesting english books. i just bought "the curious incident of the dog in the nighttime" from passport and i give two gung-ho thumbs up.

the staff are also super friendly and helpful. they even tried to convince me to buy the cheaper, used version of the novel. it's nice when shops don't give you the feeling of just wanting your cash. coffees, teas and espresso drinks are also served so you can camp out with your book o' choice.passport bookstore, 142 phra athit rd, phranakorn.
(near the queen's gallery)